James sentence is a farce, but sadly not uncommon
From The Calgary Herald 21 March 2012 (source).
Archive for Headlines
Bomb threatening notes found on Navy Pier cruise ship
From Chicago Sun-Times 5 April 2012 (source).
Submitted by Patrick Martin who comments:
I hope they have a note disposal expert on board as well as a trained psychiatrist who can help the bomb relax and enjoy the cruise.
Lesbian transvestite strawberry patch killer Donna Lee Casagrande ‘ran rampant’
From Adelaide Now 24 February 2012 (source).
Submitted by ouch.jars who comments:
I’m still not entirely sure which way to parse that. I’ll assume they’re saying Donna Lee Casagrande is a lesbian who killed patches of transvestite strawberries.
‘I nearly lost my hand to Britain’s most poisonous spider’: Woman bitten while she SLEPT by close relative of deadly Black Widow that lives in UK
From Daily Mail 17 April 2012 (source).
Submitted by AJ who comments:
Well, what else do you expect to happen if you sleep by its side, eh?
Student illegally possessed chickens
From The Associated Press 15 April 2012 (source).
Submitted by Rita Robinson who comments:
I had to read this one twice. Was it telling me that some student had stolen chicken souls? I kept reading “by” in the headline. It is still very odd. Students usually illegally possess pot.
Freezer suspect had a baby in Feb
From Toledo Blade 15 April 2012 (source).
The headline has since been changed.
Submitted by Rita Robinson who comments:
This headline is just plain lazy. I thought about Mr. Freeze having a baby. I really didn’t know what a freezer suspect could be other than someone who steals freezers. The article is actually quite gruesome.
Complex Attack by Taliban Sends Message to the West
From The New York Times 16 April 2012 (source).
Submitted by 4 sub who comments:
Was the attack complicated or did they attack a complex?
Scientists count penguins from space
From the BBC 13 April 2012 (source).
Submitted by David Firn who comments:
“Scientists count penguins from space” is the teaser on the BBC news home page for a video more accurately entitled “Satellite images show emperor penguins ‘double’”
Meeting Women-Owned Business Goals Just Got Easier, in Every Language
From the San Francisco Chronicle 11 April 2012 (source).
Submitted by lioracle.
China Swings to Surprise Trade Surplus in March
From CNBC 10 April 2012 (source).
Submitted by Daniel Barkalow who comments:
China swings will be pretty surprising, all right.
Google News thinks the original headline was “China Posts Surprise March Trade Surplus of $5.35 Billion”, and Reuters has “China records surprise trade surplus in March”. That trade surplus is sure to be surprised by something made of porcelain, even if nobody knows what.
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